Tonight, I find myself lost in my dreams. Does this ever happen to you? For about 5 years now, I’ve felt this huge calling, but I am so under-qualified it isn’t even funny. Well, am I? You see, this is where I hang myself up EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. I’m a dreamer, with about 100 ideas floating around in my head. Almost daily I’m going to Ian with a new idea or business venture and he brings be back to Earth. “Slow down, Katie. How in the world would we be able to do this; to afford that…” yada-yada-yada.
But there’s this one thing I just can’t escape. In March, I went back to work for the first time in years. I needed the “Adult” time, really. I can’t even say I’m doing it for the money considering how ridiculous it is to fund a babysitter for three children under 3. (Can I get an Amen!?) To be honest, it’s a great little job. I have so much freedom with my schedule, I’m pretty much running the entire administrative side of a small law firm and I’m fitting right in. Most women would love this kind of opportunity! Most women would make a career out of this! Most women dream of a job just like mine.
Here’s the kicker & it’s no surprise: I’m not like most women.
My entire life, my Dad etched into my brain how “different” I was. Not that he even knew, but he saw it. He saw my creative side. He knew one day I’d be a leader. I’d make something big of myself. He’d always tell me these things and here I thought it all meant I’d be a doctor or a lawyer. In a sense I think he may have even thought the same. Then the Lord jumped in front of me like someone walking in front of a bus. I’m sure he never saw that coming. He was convinced for quite some time that Aliens created humans. Thanks, National Geographic.
So, moving on. I’m bummed. I’ve been given this awesome career opportunity. I’m showing so much promise just a few months into it. Yet, I can just hear the Holy Spirit creeping into my skull,
“But Katie…we discussed this…”
DARNIT! Okay, I’ll admit. It’s fear.
Fear of the unknown. Fear of (another) failure. Fear of ruining it all. Fear of not being consistent. Fear of leading people to doom. Fear of looking like an idiot.
I’m so scared to take a leap. And why!? I can recall my sister in law telling me years ago she’d never seen someone live on such big “Faith” in her life. I mean, no pressure or anything!
I’ve got to get out of my head and make a move. I’ve GOT to take a leap.
Recently I listened to one of the many podcast episodes of Christy Wright Business Boutique where she says, “Not Fearless, but Faithful.” Well, My Lanta. In just four words, she kills my argument. She knocked down my walls.
Do it scared. What a concept.
The reality is, I’ll never meet my full potential in Christ, as a Wife, as a Mom, or as an Entrepreneur if I’m not facing my fears and acting in faith. If I’m not doing what I’m called to do, I’m not living the life I was meant to live.
Can you see this happening in your life? How are you approaching it?
Moving forward, I know God will continue to push me more toward this calling…and I’ll cave. I’ll act. I’ll prosper. I’ll succeed…and I’ll do it scared.